Are you a Facebook douchebag?

Let me begin by saying I have nothing against Facebook. It's a simple yet decent way to keep in touch with people, and in controlled doses, it's an okay account to have. I'm not even going to touch the subject of stupid pointless idiotic applications you can get for it because thinking about it pisses me off too much, and I'd lose my train of thought. Needless to say, if you have even ever considered installing the 'How Slutty Are You?' application, you are a gigantic whore.

The incredibly shitty applications are not however the topic I've chosen to broach upon at the moment. Maybe I'll complain about those later, if I feel like it. No, today's subject of hatred is the Facebook douchebag. Let me guess what you're thinking, wiseass: "Hahaha, every1 who uses facebok is a dooshbag, b spussifick!" Firstly, shut up because I hate you. Secondly, as true as that statement may be, I didn't get a chance to be more specific because you interrupted me, asshole. Allow me to expand upon it for you.

The Facebook douchebag is the guy who goes into the largest of Facebook groups and starts the unavoidable 'Prove there's a God' thread on the discussion board. What many people for some reason don't know is that the guy who does this doesn't actually care. Nine times out of ten he will start this thread and leave, never to return to the group because he doesn't give a flying fuck what evidence all these assholes from around the world have to prove either science or religion to be correct. The Facebook douchebag is a pot-stirring dick is all. He knows that having a group with thousands and thousands of people from every goddamn country on the planet to have harnessed electricity means that there will be a regular dumptruck shitload of opinions on the subject of God, so he stirs the pot like the bitchtits he is. The Facebook douchebag is, in short, a douchebag.

I don't know what pisses me off more, the Facebook douchebag or the slackjawed nimrods that always fall for the question. These drooling asshumps will actually get in a philosophical debate over the existence of a higher power on a goddamn Facebook discussion board. What the hell are they trying to prove? That they're a bunch of smelly fucktards? Why the fuck would I even listen to whatever the hell these so-called enlightened sons of bitches have to say about religion being right or wrong when they're stupid enough to fall for the Facebook douchebag's trap? It's so easy to see that he's starting the topic because he knows people will get passionate about it (read: pissed off and bitchy), and I can just imagine the smug bastard sitting back from his keyboard, watching as Hindu Johnny bashes the online shit out of Atheist Franky, who in turn beats the verbal fuck out of Christian William who doesn't even notice because he's too busy preaching the circular logic of his religion to Fence-Sitting Martha, Gary and Brittany, and this douchebag probably jerks off to the controversy he's started because he's too faggoty to get a girlfriend. Why the hell would anyone respond to this dickface? I bet I could bash a retarded baby's head in with a crowbar and he would still laugh at the Facebook douchebag's pathetic attempt at making people yell at each other about religion, and yet these intellectually stimulated 'word of god' assholes will fall for it every time!

Just to show you what a pile of reeking shit this all is, I made my way through some groups and found this thread-starter for you to hate for being such an obvious plea for attention:

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Can you give me ONE LOGICAL reason to believe that God exists?

I'm pretty sure you can't.

Oh, and I officially ban Pascal's Wager from this debate, which is any argument that sounds dreadfully similar to the following:

"It is better to believe in God and find out that He does not exist, than it is to not believe in God, find out He does exist, and go to Hell. With the former you lose nothing, but with the latter you lose everything."

It's pathetic.

And to those who stand ready to bitch over the existence of this thread, just ask yourself: you joined a large and fast-growing group... did you HONESTLY think you would not see one of these threads?

***Also, if you don't like it, don't read it... it's THAT simple!***

That said, I reiterate the fact that you'll be hard-pressed to find any logical reason to believe in God... I certainly haven't seen one.

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The writer mentions something about something in that block of bullshit being 'pathetic,' and I can't help but agree. Not with the assessment of Pascal's Wager, but of the statement this orangutan-fucker is making in being such a flamboyant asshat. This is the kind of guy who, should he enter a chatroom, would fall under the pseudo-intellectual category in terms of psychological profiling. He's not the brightest, but he knows a few big words and knows Pascal's Wager by name (oooh, how utterly fucking amazing), which is unfortunately enough to parade around a message board spitting so-called intelligence in the faces of the religious cretins. Give me a fucking break. Notice how he states the EXACT terms of the debate, setting the rules for rebuttals and stating what you can and can't say in argument to his wildly general statement, bringing Pascal's Wager into it being the primary example. I'm not saying the Wager is anything worth bringing into any argument because it is indeed a weak-ass last resort piece of argument cannon-fodder, I just don't like the idea of this shitclown getting his way in anything because I don't like him. Go fuck yourself, nancyboy.

Note that this guy was one of the few that stuck around for a few posts afterwards just to bash what other people had to say in argument with him, throwing more diddle-fuck logic at them and flaunting a probable university degree in either religious know-it-all-ism or fucktardology, either one's a fair guess. Man, these people piss me off. In fact, I retract my previous statement saying Facebook is okay. It's a fucking ridiculous mind-dump and I hate it so much now that I just deleted my account. Fuck Facebook. Fuck MySpace too, while we're on the topic of shitty things to hate.

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