Before I begin, may I just ask how many people got the title?  You know, understood the reference?  I felt like ripping off Maddox more than usual, and so pulled a Thilo and took one of Maddox's titles and twisted it to fit my purpose.  Clever, huh?  No?  You don't like it?  Whoa, cold.  Lucky for me I don't give a rat's ass.

Down to business then.  I'm not going to pretend I'm the first to touch on this issue, and you can be sure I won't be the last.  The only reason I'm even bringing it up is that I recently had a personal encounter with what the witty among us have deemed 'FemiNazis.'  You know, those chicks so wrapped up in feminism that they hate men for existing, and do everything they can to make the lives of any men they come in contact with a living hell?  Yeah, those bitches.  Before last week, I didn't even think they were real.  I figured a bunch of guys made them up in order to have something to complain about because the world is perfect and there's nothing else that comes to mind that could possibly warrant complaining.  I was wrong.  Something else I was wrong in was attempting to engage this bitch in an argument that involved using our thinking areas of our heads.  Logic and reason are lost on these women, it seems.

The encounter was between myself and a friend-of-a-friend.  This girl, this feminist, shall remain nameless, but I really don't feel like constantly referring to her as 'feminist friend-of-a-friend Nazi bitch,' and so have opted to shorten the title to just plain old 'Bitch,' as she is indeed a plain old bitch.

The conversation began when she made the statement, 'Behind every great man was a greater woman,' or some such easily-parroted bullshit that useless people say to feel special or something.  I don't even think we were talking about anything relevant to history or anything even possibly relatable to the statement, but she made it nonetheless and consequently labeled herself an easy target for being made a fool.  There was no way I could pass this up, even if it involved making myself look like a complete asshole in front of my friend and a select few others to whom I am considered an acquaintance.  After having the conversation, I repeated both her words and my own in my head over and over, doing everything I could to commit the entire ludicrous scenerio to memory.  To the best of my recollection, this is the exact conversation that took place.  Thanks to the people who were there that filled in the blanks for me, and congratulated me on my ownage.

Bitch:  Behind every great man was a greater woman.

Ninja Viking:  So Rosa Parks had a man tell her to make that famous stand, right?  [Note:  I'm well aware that Rosa Parks' stand was more a racial one than feminist, but the fact remains that she is a woman and she did something memorable]

Bitch:  What?

Ninja Viking:  Well, you said behind every great man is a greater woman, didn't you?

Bitch:  Yeah, but Rosa Parks was a woman.

Ninja Viking:  No shit, my point is that in order for you to truly be preaching equality, as you've been claiming all evening with your feminist propaganda, you would of course be of the opinion that just as there was a greater woman behind every great man, there was a greater man behind every great woman, wouldn't you?

Bitch:  No, Rosa Parks made that stand all on her own, one of the first blows against a chauvinistic society.  (oooh, she knows big words!  Time to step it up a notch)

Ninja Viking:  So you're going to sit there and take credit away from brilliant minds, people like Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr, Shakespeare, hell, even Gandhi, and refuse to even consider the possibility that they could have accomplished all they did without the aid of a woman, all the while flat out refusing to hold women to a double standard which you're too blind to see is the only way humanity can truly have equality among sexes?  That's what you consider to be right and just?

Bitch:  It's fairly obvious you're a closet sexist.

Ninja Viking:  A 'closet sexist'?  That doesn't even make sense.  If you consider any of what I said to be of a sexist nature, which, by the way, it isn't, how the fuck would that put me in a closet?  Wouldn't I be a regular old sexist?  [Bitch tries to cut me off, but I silence her with the raise of a hand.  Seriously.  And yeah, it was cool because it actually shut her up, which I wasn't expecting at all].  You accuse me of being brainwashed, raised in a society that values men over women?  Well sweetheart, and I hope you'll excuse me for getting all gender-oriented with the nicknames, I accuse you of the exact same thing. 

Bitch:  What the fuck are you talking about?

Ninja Viking:  The term is 'sexist,' and as I'm sure Oprah has conveniently failed to mention, the term is universal.  It doesn't just apply to men.  Just as men can discriminate against women, women can discriminate against men.

Bitch:  [Some high speed parroting of facts she's read on the internet regarding men earning a higher wage than women or something like that.  The point is, she was basically assaulting my ears with what she assumed to be proof that all men are evil and women are creatures worthy of my pity, something that I would think goes against her earlier statement that women are strong and brilliant and better than men.]

Ninja Viking:  Careful, you're arguing yourself into a corner.  You can throw all the facts in the world at me and it won't change the fact that equality, TRUE equality, comes from the two sexes living in harmony and other peacenik bullshit like that.  As I'm sure even someone as utterly militant in your feminist views as yourself can see, discrimination against women HAS diminished beyond belief in the last century.  For instance, you now have the freedom to voice your hatred towards men.  Fifty years ago, that would have earned you a smack in the side of the head and an order to get back to the goddamn kitchen.  Am I saying all men are perfectly courteous towards women in this day and age?  No, of course not.  My point is that just as there are men that still treat women like hunks of flesh put on this earth to serve men, there are women that make unjust accusations against men, accusing these men of fitting that description for doing something as innocent and harmless as holding a door or paying for a woman's meal on a date. 

[This is where I cut the conversation.  I can't even recall what she said, there was too much bullshit to wade through in order to recall anything of relevance to the topic.  She kept using circular logic and it got to the point where I stopped trying to get her to see reason and just sat there listening to her spew crap and make an idiot of herself.]

What is it about such issues as sexism and racism that causes people to throw logic to the winds?  You can shove it in their faces, point it out in black and white, draw them a fucking picture with a pink crayon on a yellow sheet of construction paper, and still they stick to their guns and continue on with their rapid firing of opinion born of and based on passion instead of fact and reason.  It's absurd, and yet they get away with it.

I hold myself to a standard.  When I meet a girl, I treat her with respect.  I hold conversations in which I treat her opinions and ideas with the same regard as I would a man.  Do I hold open doors for her?  Sure, but that's more common courtesy than chivalry.  Do I pay her way into a movie?  I make the offer, and if she accepts my offer I pay her way in, but once again that's just common courtesy.  If I go to see a movie with a male buddy and he's strapped for cash, I don't mind picking up the tab.  Like I've said fifteen fucking times, it's not chivalry, and it's sure as hell not sexism, it's just common fucking courtesy.  I'm not going to stop being a nice guy just because a bunch of angry women think it's somehow discriminatory.

In closing, a final note to the Bitch, who I sincerely hope got my memo and is reading this:  I fully welcome, no, I encourage you to send me an email with your side of the story, your version of the conversation, and your rebuttal to any remarks I've made in this post.  Not only will I post it in its entirety AND allow you to keep your anonymity, I promise to post a written apology on my page should you prove any of what I've said to be of a sexist nature.  Hell, why limit it to the Bitch?  Any reader who thinks they can usurp my logic with their own and prove I'm a sexist, a chauvinistic pig with a disregard for the hardships of women, is welcome to have a crack at it, and if they can I will apologize and take this filthy bit of anti-woman slander off my page and replace it with a heartfelt tribute to the greatness of feminism.  Until then, may neo-Nazi feminists everywhere enjoy the mental image of my middle finger.

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