Hatemail
Apparently people hate me. Yeah, I don't get it either
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Hello, and welcome to the hatemail section of my website. Yes, people are angry at me for having an opinion and posting it on my own domain. Collectively, I say 'bite me,' but I'm so spiteful that on top of that I've responded to each individual piece of mail, and made stupid people cry as a result. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ From: Derek Guier (guitarhero_424@hotmail.com) Sent: June 25, 2008 8:33:52 PM To: vikingninja@live.ca Subject: your article on reba
From: Ninja Viking (vikingninja@live.ca) Sent: June 27, 2008 10:03:26 AM To: Derek Guier (guitarhero_424@hotmail.com) Subject: RE: your article on reba
_____________________________________________________________________________________ From: Mike Sills (mikesills@hotmail.com) Sent: April 30, 2008 6:52:33 PM To: vikingninja@live.ca Subject: You Suck
I've spent the last ten minutes reading your site, and I've just got to say that I was disappointed. I read it with the hopes that I would find something like Thilo's site (ninjapirate.com), who's name you obviously ripped off. Instead, I was disgusted by a cheap, unfunny rip off. Ninja Viking is such a stupid name, so it makes sense that you would choose it for your piece of shit site. I doubt you're even a real ninja or a real viking. You're probably just some teenage kid who still lives with his parents who's trying to be trendy by being like Thilo and Maddox. Well it's not working. For one, you aren't anywhere near as good as them, and for another, copying them doesn't make you cool. Maybe you should try being original some time.You should also try learning to write, and learning the art of comedy. Most of your site follows the lines of ' I got mad at this guy so I hurt him in some way that sounds cool except for when I write about it'. If any other writer had written about the same topics as you, they probably would have done it better. You are a shit stain on the underpants of ranting.
With love, Mike Sills.
From: Ninja Viking (vikingninja@live.ca) Sent: April 30, 2008 11:13:06 PM To: Mike Sills (mikesills@hotmail.com) Subject: RE: You Suck
Dear Mike, I'm sorry a whole ten minutes of your time was wasted reading my drivel. The last thing I wanted was to 'disappoint' some guy somewhere that came to my page expecting writing that matched his expectations down to the letter. By the way, thanks for the link to Thilo's site (www.ninjapirate.com, in case you forgot), whose name I obviously ripped off and whose website I've never heard of because I live in a fucking cave. You think that you're confronting me over some big secret? Good show, you discovered something that is, as you would say, completely fucking obvious. I applaud you, Mike, you gigantic pile of stupid. I disgusted you? Excuse me while I attempt to give a damn. And you're correct, Ninja Viking IS a stupid name, which (following your theory of my ripping off Thilo, the theory I confirmed to be true) you should have realized is part of why I chose to use it as a parody of Thilo's moniker. Apparently I was being too subtle, I'll try to dumb things down for folks like you from now on. You doubt I'm a real ninja or a real viking? Oh noes, someone figured out that I'm not a real ninja or a real viking! Honestly, were you born this stupid, or were you dropped on your head as a baby? If the latter is true, I'd say it had to have been a repeat performance because you've blown me away with your astonishing lack-of-thinkingness that you've so far displayed. One thing you did get right however is that I'm a teenage kid living with his parents and trying to be trendy. I also eat Hot Pockets and drink Mountain Dew while playing World of Warcraft and taking brief breaks to masturbate to manga. Oh yeah, and I update my site with my left hand while because my right is busy fapping. Want me to further delve into the stereotype you assume me to fit? God, you're a fucking brain donor. I'm 'copying' them? How? Is it because my layout is a light text on a dark background? Or is because I write satire? Be specific Mikey, you can hardly expect me to improve my work if you don't detail your criticism a bit further than 'You suck.' Oh, and I chuckled heartily at your analysis of my rants and their supposed carbon-copy formats. The main reason for my laughter to be brought about was you came to this conclusion after TEN MINUTES OF READING, but a few snickers were because I was thinking about how much of a shit-chucking primate you've proven yourself to be in general. I'm a shit stain on the underpants of ranting? Well you, Mikey, are just plain shit. Come back with something that requires more than half a brain cell and pecking your tiny dick at a keyboard to type out and I'll do my best to not laugh my ass off at your stupidness. Warm regards, Ninja Viking _____________________________________________________________________________________
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THE DISCLAIMER
By visiting this page you have surrendered your rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. By coming here you have freely admitted through your actions that I, Ninja Viking, am a better person than you and that you, an unthinking dullard, only visited this page because my rants are great J.O. material. Any and all writings are of a humorous intent and as such are not to be taken too seriously. All this shit on here is just my opinion, so should you take offense to any of the material on my page, well, you can just go fuck yourself.
The Rants of a Ninja Viking are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 Canada License.