Sarcasm, Satire, and other shit I use in conversation
| Sarcasm- harsh or bitter
derision or irony.
Satire- the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. When I speak, I speak using one or both of these language tools. There is no in between for me, it's simply in my character to do so. Even now, as I explain this to you as I would explain to a child, I am using a form of sarcasm in that I am belittling you, the reader, by speaking condescendingly to you, implying that I in fact believe you wouldn't understand a word I say to you otherwise. Before today, I thought this unnecessary, that it was basically self-explanatory. It seems I've been proven wrong. To be offended, and I mean seriously, soul-searingly offended by anything I say or imply in conversation is about the lamest possible thing conceivable. Honestly, if you don't know me well enough to know that I'm joking, kidding, fooling around, then maybe you don't need to converse with me. Save us both some grief, go thump your head against a wall and die of something. Nothing pisses me off more when I'm in the middle of a rant containing threats of hobo-beatings, baby-killings and other such fun passtimes than some holier-than-thou asshole-eater making his mouth into the shape of a sphincter in indignation and saying something faggoty, such as:
"REALLY?" "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" "YOU DON'T MEAN THAT, DO YOU?" "YOU'RE SICK!"
Firstly, shut up. You're stupid, proving thusly by saying such stupid things as the above stated. If you actually think for even a split second that I really do go around beating hobos and lighting children on fire, you are too much of a moron for mere words to express. I say what I say with a humourous intent, nothing less and certainly nothing more. I don't actually intend on crawling through your bedroom window and slitting your throat at three in the morning. I just say it because it amuses the hell out of me to interrupt your dumbass rants about dumbass shit with threats against your life. Secondly, you're an idiot. Go hang yourself, save me the trouble. Now if you read the above line and understood that it's just me being an asshole, you appear to have learned something. If you read the line and took it personally and were in some way hurt, take the message to heart because I hate you.
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THE DISCLAIMER
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